Siva Kaneswaran sought therapy after starring in the latest Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins, in a bid to deal with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.
The singer from boy band The Wanted has also revealed he suffered with "aggression" after taking part in the gruelling reality TV show and that his fiancée Nareesha McCaffrey was forced to step in to help.
The Channel 4 series has already seen TOWIE star James Argent and MP Matt Hancock break down in floods of tears as the stars prove they have what it takes to make the Special Forces.
Love Island's Teddy Soares and Montana Brown, singer Gareth Gates and footballer Jermaine Pennant are among some of the famous faces who've been forced to abandon their glamorous lifestyles as they attempt to survive the most unforgiving jungle in the world in Thung Ui, North Vietnam.
But now mild-mannered Siva, 34, has revealed the "shell shock" that came from filming Celebrity SAS last year.
He told the Daily Mirror: “I’m quite soft and gentle. Coming out of that, it was shell shock. I came away from the show and felt more full of life and brave, but there was also this aggression, proper aggression. I’d be full throttle at everything I did, and Nareesha was like, ‘OK, Siva, this is too much’."
Explaining how he needed to get professional help, the singer – nicknamed ‘Sensitive Siva’ when growing up in Dublin – continued: "I just wasn’t me. I had to take myself to therapy. I was supported by SAS and also my therapist in America to ground me again and remind me of my qualities.”
He went on to explain how participants in the show are forced to become aggressive to get through the tasks, adding: “You have to get very aggressive so you come out and your brain is still set like that. It’s an extreme place. It gave me a whole new respect for soldiers and people with PTSD and made me realise that I’m not invincible."
In tonight's show, 8 October, the Glad You Came singer is seen in tears as the group is asked to write letters to their loved ones, imagining they'll never see them again.
For Siva, it brought back memories of the tragic death of his bandmate Tom Parker, who died in March 2022 after battling brain cancer.
Back in August, Siva admitted he cries every day following the dad-of-two's heartbreaking death. He told with Closer magazine: "I'm still processing it – it's hard to believe it was over a year ago, it's as if it happened just months ago. I've never cried so much in the past year, I cried every day."
Former Liberty X star Michelle Heaton, 44, who's also starring on Celebrity SAS, has exclusively told OK! how tough things are during filming.
She's currently going through a range of gruelling challenges on-screen as part of the new Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins series, and Michelle Heaton has revealed that it's even tougher in real life than TV.
"You only see an hour a day on TV but you had to be there to endure the actual pain and understand," she said.
"Little things like sleep deprivation, how wet it actually is, the conditions, we got talcum powder everywhere and it ended up actually making our feet feel worse! You forget the cameras are there because it's not like you're being pulled for interviews or you have time 'off camera'."
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares wins, stream or watch live on Channel 4, Sundays at 9pm
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