DEAR DEIDRE: WHILE my girlfriend has forgiven me for having a one-night stand, her son says he’ll beat me up if he sees me again.
I’m a divorced man of 39. My girlfriend is 41 and has a son of 23.
We met at a festival last year. She was so chatty and I felt captivated by her. I couldn’t resist asking her out for a drink.
She agreed and we met the next weekend in a pub. We had such a great time that we started dating.
Her son lives with his girlfriend nearby. My girlfriend lives with a dodgy landlord. She rents a room in his house and, because he doesn’t work, he is always there trying to charm her.
I sleep in the box room at my family home, where I still have an amicable relationship with my ex despite our divorce.
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There is nothing I would love more than to live with my girlfriend but we have not been able to afford a private rental together.
It has caused huge arguments so we have ended up having a break.
During our time apart, I had a one-night stand. It meant nothing. I told my girlfriend because I thought she deserved to know.
She was devastated and felt I’d cheated on her. But I’ve never been unfaithful to anyone.
Now I also have a new job, as a delivery driver, and things are looking better financially. I can afford to rent somewhere and I want my girlfriend to be with me.
We are talking again, and she’s forgiven me but says moving in together would be impossible as her son won’t allow it.
He’s furious because of what I did. I’ve offered to talk to him, to prove my intentions are good, but he won’t have it and has threatened me.
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DEIDRE SAYS: If you were only having a break to give each other thinking space, this was a huge betrayal.
As a young man with a single mum, your partner’s son is bound to be protective, especially if she has been let down before.
You’ll have to work hard to regain the trust of both him and your girlfriend.
Tell her that cheating was a mistake you’ll never repeat, and you’re sorry you hurt her. It is her life though, not her son’s, and she has to convince him that your intentions are sincere.
My support packs, Standing Up For Yourself and Cheating Can You Get Over It, will help.
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