{"id":67999,"date":"2023-10-21T06:47:41","date_gmt":"2023-10-21T06:47:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newcelebworld.com\/?p=67999"},"modified":"2023-10-21T06:47:41","modified_gmt":"2023-10-21T06:47:41","slug":"i-bought-a-house-250-miles-from-home-and-moved-there-alone-to-cope-with-menopause-rage-olivia-devereux-evans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newcelebworld.com\/lifestyle\/i-bought-a-house-250-miles-from-home-and-moved-there-alone-to-cope-with-menopause-rage-olivia-devereux-evans\/","title":{"rendered":"I bought a house 250 miles from home and moved there alone to cope with menopause rage\u2019 – Olivia Devereux-Evans"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lucy Boulter, 53, is a communication consultant from the West Midlands and happily married to husband Ian, 59. When the perimenopause hit, she feared her symptoms would impact on their relationship \u2013 so she took the radical decision to move 250 miles away. Here, she tells her story\u2026<\/p>\n

Struggling to do a jigsaw puzzle in my kitchen on Christmas Day 2017, I felt an overwhelming sense of rage. It had been a busy time and usually a puzzle would be a real stress buster for me. <\/p>\n

But that day I just couldn\u2019t do it and it was making me unreasonably furious. As I sat there, trying to fit the jigsaw pieces fit together, I thought, \u201cOh my God, if Ian came in here now and saw the state of me, he\u2019d think I\u2019d lost the plot.\u201d <\/p>\n

At 47, I was at the height of perimenopause and I was scared \u2013 I didn\u2019t recognise the person I was becoming. Insomnia and brain fog had really taken hold, not to mention these unexpected feelings of fury which came out of nowhere.<\/p>\n

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I could literally be halfway through a sentence and hit a blank wall, with no clue what I was saying. I used to have a reputation for having a very good memory, and it was truly frightening to lose it for a while.<\/p>\n

I missed goodness knows how many birthdays. And one night I completely forgot to feed my neighbour\u2019s cats, which we had arranged only a few days before. They were fine, thank goodness, but the realisation the next day was awful \u2013 living creatures (and a dear friend) were depending on me, and I\u2019d simply forgotten every last thought of it.<\/p>\n

It was terrifying because somehow, through it all, I still had to try and run my coaching business and keep my marriage as happy as it had been for the last 18 years. Ian and I had met at a wedding and we fell head over heels in love. <\/p>\n

We\u2019d always been a sociable couple, but when perimenopause hit I suddenly went from the life and soul of the party to battling my emotions, veering between extreme anxiety and rage \u2013 often brought on by struggling to do something simple like that puzzle.<\/p>\n

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My mental health declined and I became disinterested in life and depressed. That just wasn\u2019t me. I also found myself starting to worry about how what was happening would affect Ian. Was I becoming a woman he wouldn\u2019t recognise?<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve always been a tight team and have open conversations about everything, so it was inevitable he\u2019d noticed changes in me too and was concerned. That\u2019s when I knew I had to take action and protect him and our relationship from my menopause.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s always been in my nature to withdraw a bit when things get tough, so I decided to buy a house in the Lake District, 250 miles from home. I\u2019ve always been a saver, so combined with a new mortgage I could manage it.
I didn\u2019t have a particularly strong pension and we don\u2019t have kids, so I thought, \u201cWhy not invest in property?\u201d It felt like a sensible way to save for my old age while also having a lifestyle I wanted.<\/p>\n

Ian was really supportive when I told him of my plan. We love each other and trust each other, but we\u2019re also our own people. We\u2019ve never asked each other for permission to do things and know that we both want to go off by ourselves sometimes.<\/p>\n

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Moving to the Lake District was the best decision I ever made \u2013 hiking and being outdoors saved my soul and became a form of therapy for me. It\u2019s not how everyone would choose to \u2013 or can \u2013 spend their menopause, but being in nature and climbing fells was really special \u2013 it still is. It might not be conventional or suit everyone, but it worked for us.<\/p>\n

Menopause is life-changing but I\u2019ve come out the other side and I\u2019m so pleased that I managed that time without causing any damage or pain with Ian. In fact, we\u2019re as happy as ever.<\/p>\n

I now have a second wind in life too. I\u2019m co-authoring a book about better communication and impact for women business owners, and I\u2019ve set up a new business.<\/p>\n

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I still spend time in the Lakes \u2013 usually a few weeks \u2013 and then come home to Ian. I\u2019ll be away for longer if the weather is nice. <\/p>\n

We still love each other\u2019s company and every time I\u2019m packing up to go back to our house I\u2019m dizzy with excitement knowing I\u2019m going to see him.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how much longer I\u2019ll be in the Lake District, but I know I won\u2019t be spending old age alone.
Home as a place for me is the Lakes. Home as a person for me is, and always will be, my husband. <\/p>\n

Find Lucy on Facebook at<\/i> facebook.com\/the <\/i>communication coaches and online at<\/i> lucyandemma.com <\/i><\/p>\n<\/p>\n