{"id":67209,"date":"2023-09-21T06:36:35","date_gmt":"2023-09-21T06:36:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newcelebworld.com\/?p=67209"},"modified":"2023-09-21T06:36:35","modified_gmt":"2023-09-21T06:36:35","slug":"psa-you-can-have-a-situationship-and-still-maintain-your-dignity-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newcelebworld.com\/lifestyle\/psa-you-can-have-a-situationship-and-still-maintain-your-dignity-2\/","title":{"rendered":"PSA, you can have a situationship and still maintain your dignity"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Cher once said: \u2018My experience with men is great because I pick them because I like them. I don\u2019t need them.\u2019<\/p>\n

It\u2019s solid advice: when we get romantically or sexually involved with someone, if we feel we need <\/em>them, we\u2019re likely going to let our boundaries get trampled on.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s especially true if it\u2019s a situationship in which asking to be treated well might feel at odds with the casual nature of it.<\/p>\n

But reader, it isn\u2019t at odds at all.<\/p>\n

Caroline Plumer, psychotherapist as CPPC London, says: \u2018Boundaries are vital in all relationships, whether that be romantic, platonic, familial, with colleagues or even with ourselves. <\/p>\n

\u2018They ensure we feel emotionally (and physically) safe and are not put in a position where we feel disrespected or mistreated.\u2019<\/p>\n

And yet, often people approach the respect they give to be in parallel with the seriousness of the connection. In reality, respect and tolerating boundaries should simply be a basic in human interaction \u2013 be it a one night stand or a fully fledged relationship. <\/p>\n

Boundaries and asks in casual dating might include things like: mutual effort and planning around meet ups, being open about sexual health statuses, and being replied to in a reasonable amount of time.<\/p>\n

But it can seem challenging to implement these fundamental things we all know we deserve when the relationship in question isn\u2019t solid.<\/p>\n

Caroline says: \u2018For many of us, when we try to set a boundary, our people pleasing urge kicks in. <\/p>\n

\u2018We become more concerned about upsetting or offending someone else, than about protecting ourselves. <\/p>\n

\u2018Particularly when it comes to romantic relationships (however casual), we may worry about \u201cscaring them off\u201d or being \u201ctoo much\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u2018If someone doesn\u2019t want to respect your boundaries, or give you what you reasonably need, then this probably isn\u2019t the person or situation for you.\u2019<\/p>\n

A friend recently shared that in a new dating situation, she wasn\u2019t happy with the length of time he would take to reply \u2013 but rather than set a parameter here, she\u2019s continued to tolerate something that doesn\u2019t suit her. We\u2019ve all fallen victim to failing to advocate for ourselves sometime or other.<\/p>\n

The answer here to having more fulfilling casual encounters, lies in self-esteem.<\/p>\n

\u2018Boundaries show others how we want and expect to be treated, and as such are closely tied to how much we value ourselves,\u2019 Caroline says.<\/p>\n

\u2018The best boundaries often have some degree of flexibility but if you are constantly letting others violate them, or are slipping into people pleasing mode, you are probably valuing other\u2019s needs above your own. <\/p>\n

\u2018This reinforces the idea \u2013 for you and for others \u2013 that you are not worth valuing and respecting in the way you would like to be.\u2019<\/p>\n

An early study into Tinder found that users had lower levels of self-worth and were more ashamed of their bodies than those not dating on the app. <\/p>\n

Caroline says when we feel like this, boundaries become harder to set.<\/p>\n

\u2018Setting boundaries is often scary, but it often becomes easier \u2013 and empowering \u2013 the more we practice it,\u2019 she explains.<\/p>\n

\u2018Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with respect, think about what that looks like for you and then work backwards from there \u2013 what do you need to put in place to ensure you are valued as you should be?<\/p>\n

\u2018If someone doesn\u2019t like it, it\u2019s probably time to move on.<\/p>\n

\u2018Boundaries will look different for everyone, but a relatively good rule of thumb is, it shouldn\u2019t be one rule for you, and a completely different rule for the other person. <\/p>\n

\u2018If one of you is putting in all the legwork, or expects exclusivity from the other whilst dating around themselves, then that probably isn\u2019t acceptable and even within the parameters of a casual relationship, likely needs a rethink.\u2019<\/p>\n

And what to do if you set a boundary and it\u2019s ignored? <\/p>\n

\u2018If you are confident your boundaries and requests are reasonable, and more importantly, are what you need to feel safe and respected, it\u2019s time to end the situation,\u2019 Caroline urges. <\/p>\n

\u2018You may sometimes have to explain the \u201cwhy\u201d of your requests, and I do think it helps to be willing to do so to help others understand your needs, and you may even at times negotiate to find an acceptable middle ground.\u2019<\/p>\n

But ultimately, you shouldn\u2019t feel your self-respect has gone out the window for a date or hook-up.<\/p>\n

Do you have a story to share?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Source: Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cher once said: \u2018My experience with men is great because I pick them because I like them. I don\u2019t need them.\u2019 It\u2019s solid advice: when we get romantically or sexually involved with someone, if we feel we need them, we\u2019re…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":67208,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nPSA, you can have a situationship and still maintain your dignity - Newcelebworld.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/newcelebworld.com\/lifestyle\/psa-you-can-have-a-situationship-and-still-maintain-your-dignity-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"PSA, you can have a situationship and still maintain your dignity - Newcelebworld.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Cher once said: \u2018My experience with men is great because I pick them because I like them. 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