Kellie Maloney has revealed she attempted suicide after fearing she had ruined her children's lives.
The former boxing promoter, who made the decision to transition from Frank back in 2014, tried to take her life last October.
Kellie fell into a dark place after falling in with the wrong crowd and drinking heavily while living in Portugal.
Speaking on Tuesday's Loose Women, Kellie revealed what had driven her to the brink of suicide and why she now feels strong enough to speak out in a bid to help others.
The 66-year-old denied claims she regretted transitioning and said she was happier as Kellie because she was "living a lie" as Frank.
Opening up, Kellie said: "I think a lot of people till struggle with accepting trans people. I've had friends on this journey I met at my support group who unfortunately did take their lives.
"We do have the highest rate of suicide of any group. It's hard for people to come out and accept it.
"I’ve been lucky because I’ve had my family and support team. But I do have that dark cloud come over."
Kellie admitted she built up a wall as a form of protection after a string of disastrous dates which crumbled down after meeting some new friends last summer.
The former boxing promoter admitted she started drinking heavily and the group asked about Frank's life and whether she missed it.
After doing a talk on mental health in the UK, Kellie explained how she had a row with someone in her life at the airport and started drinking.
Instead of going home she went out to a restaurant and drank more wine before returning home on that fateful night.
She said: "I went to bed and luckily I had my ex-counsellor Jan staying with me. I started looking at pictures of me as Frank and thought have I messed up my children’s life? Tracey’s life?
"I just thought…madness of insanity I'd say. That point where you do attempt [suicide] you are actually insane.
"I don’t know what it was. It was dark. My dogs were laying in my bedroom close to me. I wasn’t thinking straight.
"I started taking all these different pills and was drinking wine straight from the bottle. I ran out of wine so went to the fridge. Jan must have heard me, she didn’t say anything just stood behind me. I picked up another bottle.
"My eldest dog was in the loving room. I went to stoke him to say goodbye. I don’t know why. Then I passed out. The next thing I knew I woke up in hospital."
Kellie was helped by an emotional message from her daughter, who flew out to Portgual to look after her, which she now always reads when she gets depressed.
She is now much happier than a year ago and recently took part in Celebrity MasterChef.
*Loose Women airs weekdays on ITV at 12.30pm
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