Jennifer Lopez says the days and months after her divorce from Marc Anthony were some of the toughest moments in her life. The “power of positive thinking” helped her through this difficult period.
Jennifer Lopez mourned the loss of her dream
Lopez says she dreamed of having a husband and children. However, after her divorce, she says she spent a lot of time mourning the loss of that dream. She couldn’t believe the family she wanted for so long was breaking up.
“I mourned the loss of this dream I’d had since I was young,” wrote Lopez in her book True Love. “I longed for a beautiful family and a loving husband to grow old with. I had come so close to it that to let it go now was traumatic.”
Jennifer Lopez turned to the ‘power of positive thinking’
One way Lopez coped with her pain and sadness was by reading self-help books. She says she looked through some of the books in her collection so she could find encouragement and strength. One person who seemed to speak to her situation was the late author Louise Hay.
At first, I was looking for things to help me get through the next hour, the next day. And then I decided to reread one of my favorite inspirational books, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay.
It’s all about how you can make your own reality and your own destiny by the power of your own positive thoughts. I had always found that message—that you have the power to change how you feel, to make your own life better—really comforting, so I started reading it again.
Jennifer Lopez says she couldn’t stop crying
Lopez says after the divorce, she was in so much emotional pain that she couldn’t keep from crying. She was also having a hard time sleeping and there were days when she felt depressed. She tried to contain her feelings, but they kept seeping to the surface.
I’d feel like I had something caught in my throat, or something making my chest feel tight. I’d wonder whether maybe I was getting sick, but then, suddenly, the tears would start coming—again—and I would understand that it was all those emotions forcing themselves out. Emotional pain is such a strange feeling. You can forget you’re in it—or try to anyway—and then it sneaks up and finds its way to the surface.
Jennifer Lopez received wise words from Louise Hay
Lopez’s dream of having the family she hoped for was temporarily on hold, but her dream of meeting Hay came true. One day, Lopez mentioned to one of her friends that she would love to meet the author. Her friend suggested calling her, and to Lopez’s surprise, Hay agreed to come to her house so they could talk. Lopez told Hay about the tough time she was experiencing and how sad she was about the divorce. Here’s the advice Hay had for Lopez:
You’re a dancer, right? When you’re learning to dance, if you mess up a step, you don’t beat yourself up over that step, or get angry or hate yourself for it, do you? You just keep going and you do it again. Well, that’s what you’ve got to do in this situation as well. You haven’t gotten things right yet, but you just have to keep going with the dance. And don’t beat yourself up along the way.
Lopez says she realized at that moment that she spent a lot of time blaming herself for failed relationships. Instead of loving and nurturing herself after the breakups she continued to focus on everything she did wrong. Lopez says Hay encouraged her to just keep going. Things would eventually fall into place.
“Fear, guilt, and blame are useless and destructive,” Hay told Lopez. “What happened has happened. Just keep doing better and eventually you’ll get the steps right.”
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