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Sir Elton John says he is still living with a self-destructive demon inside him that could erupt at any time.
The I’m Still Standing star was famous for his coke-fuelled diva rants.
He said: “I’m not proud of that stuff. My behaviour was so erratic and unpredictable.
"And it’s still in me, to explode at any moment. I’ve been trying to work on that and I’ve got a wonderful husband who can get me out of that stuff.
“It’s an artistic thing – artists can be so self-destructive sometimes, for no reason. I can have a day when everything in my whole life is going so well and I get up and I feel like the world is against me.”
The Rocket Man singer, 74, has been clean 31 years and is a dad to two children with husband David Furnish, 58.
He said: “The self-loathing, not having any self-esteem, comes from when I was a kid.
“That’s the way it was in the 50s – you got slapped round the face. You got a good
hiding. It wasn’t good for me.
“I think it stays with you for the whole of your life.”
Elton recently postponed his upcoming Farewell Yellow Brick Road tour following an injury at the end of his summer break.
The tour has been rescheduled to 2023 after he was left in "considerable pain and discomfort" following a fall.
He said at the time: "It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I am forced to reschedule the 2021 dates of my Farewell Yellow Brick Road tour in Europe and the UK to 2023.
"At the end of my summer break I fell awkwardly on a hard surface and have been in considerable pain and discomfort in my hip ever since.
"Despite intensive physio and specialist treatment, the pain has continued to get worse and is leading to increasing difficulties moving."
He explained that he has been advised to have an operation as soon as possible to help him get back to full fitness and to avoid long-term complications.
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The singer added: "I will be undertaking a programme of intensive physiotherapy that will ensure a full recovery and a return to full mobility without pain."
Elton has since praised his fans for their understanding and said he feels their frustrations after the challenging year, though he has promised them that it will be worth the wait.
He has been flooded with well-wishes as fans have shared their hope for a speedy recovery as the star prepares to undergo surgery.
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- Elton John
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