My sick wife wants me to have sex with her daughter as she can't fulfil my needs

My sick wife wants me to have sex with her daughter as she can't fulfil my needs

DEAR DEIDRE: MY poorly wife is pushing me toward a sexual relationship with her daughter because she can no longer fulfil my needs.

My wife has multiple sclerosis and is now in a bad way, needing a lot of care.


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Her daughter is a single mum and came to live with us along with her little boy almost a year ago.

My wife is 61 and I am 63. We had a great sex life until she got really sick.

We are at the stage where she no longer wants to do anything sexual with me.

We used to have sex several times each week but have now not for more than six months.

My wife has watched how close I have become with her daughter as we share the workload of caring for her.

When the first lockdown ended, she encouraged us to go out for a few meals together.

Her daughter is 30 and there is some sexual chemistry between us.

It has made me a little uncomfortable, to be honest.

I try not to react but then she will say things like, “What would you do if we were on a date together?” and: “If you were younger, would you fancy me?”

My wife’s daughter was badly treated by her ex and my wife keeps saying to me: “You will look after her, won’t you? She needs someone genuine to take care of her.”

My stepdaughter is sleeping in the spare room and her son is in the box room.

My wife even suggested that her daughter and I share the spare room together.

My wife’s daughter is beautiful but this is not what I want.

I cannot think about anyone else like that.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Whatever your wife is suggesting, sharing a bed with your stepdaughter is not OK and is completely inappropriate.

Your wife is feeling guilty that your relationship is not what it once was but that is nobody’s fault.

Find a moment to talk to her, tell her you love her and although the sex might have gone, there are other ways to be intimate.

My support pack on Couples Massage could help you to find other ways to relax and connect.

Focus on your wife. She is the one you love and the one who needs you.

Where your stepdaughter is concerned, when the pandemic is lifted, offer to babysit and encourage her to go out with friends.

That might eventually lead to a relationship for her.

If sleeping arrangements are cramped and your finances allow it, look into the possibility of moving house or adapting your current accommodation so you can all live together comfortably.

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