My husband can’t stand my daughter’s boyfriend and I’m worried I’ll lose her

My husband can’t stand my daughter’s boyfriend and I’m worried I’ll lose her

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband can’t stand my daughter’s boyfriend, and I’m worried I’ll lose her and my grandson if he keeps this up.

For many years it was just me and my daughter, but then I married a lovely, kind man, and he became her stepfather.

They always got on well until she met her boyfriend when she was 21, and had a son, who is now three.

My husband, who is 54, thinks my daughter’s boyfriend is a lazy, workshy waste of space.

He was delighted when they split up last year. But now they’ve got back together and her stepdad is furious.

He says that if she stays with him he will no longer talk to her, or help out with his grandson.

I’m 51 and don’t know what to do.

My daughter is happy, and I couldn’t bear to fall out with her and lose my grandson.

But I love my husband too. I feel like I have to choose between them.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your daughter is happy, and it’s best for your grandson to be brought up by both parents.

Can you tell your husband that whatever happens you can’t and won’t abandon your daughter or grandson, but you don’t want this issue to come between you?

Tell him that playing hardball with her will only push her away.

She is your daughter – ask him to respect your wish that you lead on this.

You may find it helpful to talk to Family Lives (familylives.org.uk) on 0808 800 2222.

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