DEAR DEIDRE: IF it hadn’t been for lockdown, I don’t think I would have been able to resist sex with my colleague.
We work for a lettings agency and the chemistry between us is intoxicating. I’m 31 and she is 28. But she is engaged and I have a girlfriend.
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In three years together I’ve never been unfaithful to my girlfriend. But I am fantasising about this woman every day and night.
We get on well and it’s clear we are physically attracted to each other. Everyone at work can see it and some of them have joked that we just need to “get a room and get it over with”.
I’ve admitted to her I want her — and she said she thinks about me when she pleasures herself when her fiancé is asleep.
Thankfully, our manager always stays late — so my fantasies have remained just fantasies.
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But I think when we are able to socialise and go to the pub after work we won’t be able to resist each other any longer. I am concerned that as soon as the current lockdown restrictions ease, there will be nothing to stop us.
Our company always used to spill out into the local bars on a Friday night and I’m sure that if we both have a drink, that will be it. My girlfriend is 29 and I was truly happy with her until this woman started at my workplace.
We have been trying for a baby and now I’m wondering if I should hold back. I never wanted to be the sort of person who messed around behind their partner’s back.
Should we have our fun and keep it a secret, or somehow try to resist the urge?
DEIDRE SAYS: Experiencing such a strong attraction to someone new says a lot about your current relationship – and your colleague’s too.
Be honest with yourself about whether your relationship really has a future. If you think not, you need to do the right thing and walk away.
And you are right to put any baby plans on hold until you have worked this out.
Separately, your colleague needs to consider whether she has a future with her fiancé. While she does this, you need to step back and allow her the space to consider that.
If you do both decide to leave your relationships, that is the time to get together sexually and see if you might have a future.
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