DEAR DEIDRE: I MET an amazing man in Budapest on a friend’s hen party. It turned out he lives around the corner from me back in the UK.
Now I sneak out whenever I can to have sex with him . . . but I feel bad for my boyfriend.
My pal is getting married next month and ten of us went to Budapest for a long weekend. It was brilliant fun and I met this lovely guy on our final night.
I had a lot to drink, of course, but we got talking and really got on. That’s when we discovered we live so near one another.
I was sharing a room in our hotel, as was this man in his, so we didn’t do much that night except kiss. But it was electric between us.
We swapped numbers and he was in touch as soon as I got home. I should have ignored him really but my boyfriend didn’t make any sort of fuss of me when I got back.
He just asked when tea would be ready. And when we had sex that night, it was all about his satisfaction. He didn’t bother with mine at all.
I felt a bit sulky about that so I told my boyfriend I had to go round my mum’s the next evening so I could tell her about the hen weekend. In fact, I went off to see this other guy.
Sex with him was amazing. It’s not just that it’s someone new — he cares whether I am having a good time too. Now I sneak out to see him as often as I can.
My boyfriend works shifts, so this new guy and I can usually arrange to see one another when he’s not around. But I do feel guilty.
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have talked about getting married next year. I am 26 and he is 29. My new man is 27. I love him but do I want to spend my life with him?
POSSESSIVE jealousy eats into your peace of mind.
My e-leaflet on Dealing With Jealousy tells how to protect your relationship, whether you are eaten up by the green-eyed monster or the victim.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It is hard to know if your new relationship consists simply of a night chatting and a few hours in bed when you can sneak away.
Has he talked about wanting anything more with you?If not, the chances are he is happy with seeing you just for sex and would be alarmed at the thought of anything more serious.
If you are serious enough with your boyfriend to have talked of marriage, best try to save your relationship before writing it off.
Tell him you were disappointed with your reception when you got home and that he is letting himself become a lazy lover. My e-leaflet Your Relationship MoT can help.
If he is willing to work with you to strengthen your relationship, that is a promising sign. If he can’t be bothered, maybe it is time to try someone new. But choose – don’t keep cheating.
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