DEAR DEIDRE: MUM has just revealed that I’m adopted. I’m reeling at the news.
I’m 20 and although I have always got on well with my family – the people I thought were my parents and my two older brothers, who are 23 and 25 – I’ve also always felt like the odd one out.
I don’t look anything like the others. I’m fair and tall, while everyone else is dark and small. My brothers are both artistic while I’m sporty and practical.
Whenever I mentioned this, Mum said it was just a genetic quirk. But the other day I was up in the loft looking for something when I found my birth certificate and learned the truth.
I confronted Mum, asking why she’d lied. She cried and said she’d hidden my adoption from me because she wanted me to feel like part of the family.
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She said my birth mother was a drug addict and she wanted to protect me from her.
Now I feel betrayed and angry. It’s like I don’t know who I am any more.
DEIDRE SAYS: Try not to write off the care and love your adoptive parents have shown you over the years.
Adoptive parents are now encouraged to share the truth with their adoptive child as early as possible. But your parents meant well.
In time, your anger will fade and you will decide if you want to trace your birth mother.
It would help you to talk to someone who understands. PAC-UK (pac-uk.org, 020 7284 5879) supports those affected by adoption.
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