The ‘Divergent’ actress offers relationship advice as she answers a fan’s question about whether or not to continue a relationship if the sex is not great.
AceShowbiz -Actress Shailene Woodley insists the key to good sex is “communication.”
In a candid “Ask her” column for website Leo, the 29-year-old reveals she has had bad sex “more than once” and now opens up to her partners to make sure intercourse is always a pleasure.
Opening up to one reader who asked, “If the sex is not great but the relationship is thriving, do you call it quits or work on it?” Shailene responded, “I have been here. And to be quite honest, it has happened more than once in my life.”
“All I can say is, from my perspective as a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it, honesty and transparency are everything. If you don’t feel safe in communication with your partner, then chances are, you may never be able to cultivate a truly connective sex life. And, if you do feel safe, then talk about your needs. Whether they are being met or not. Ask your partner about theirs.”
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The “Big Little Lies” star also advised that finding a good balance in a relationship can “take time” and insisted most people don’t have great sex until they can be “truly intimate” with one another.
She continued, “Bad sex is simply two people who haven’t quite found the language that speaks to their unique lives together yet. Or, two people who don’t know how to be deeply vulnerable with one another. That s**t can take time. And although you occasionally and very rarely do meet someone whom you spontaneously sexually combust with – most of the time, sex is a lesson in true intimacy.”
Shailene concluded her advice by urging people to “explore the roots of emotions” with their partners, and to take things slow.
She said, “Wanting to call a good thing off simply because your sexual connection isn’t a 10 yet is perhaps the greatest path to growth. Perhaps it is an invitation to reach into the underbelly of what you are both afraid to dive into. To explore the roots of emotions, feelings, attachments – and to play in the world of sensually exploring your partner.”
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