Viewers of 90 Day: The Single Life know where Big Ed Brown’s story is headed, even if he does not.
Ed is engaged to Liz Woods, despite numerous breakups and humiliations that should have sent her out of his life for good.
Before that, he was dating again, which is why the latest episode showed him on a date in Mexico.
To everyone’s horror, that date was interrupted by the sound of live gunfire, sending everyone — including Ed — fleeing for safety.
People have different relationships with family. That’s normal.
Most people don’t refer to their elderly mom as a “secret weapon,” but in the context of dating, we’ll let that slide.
Big Ed Brown said just that of his mother as he brought her along with him to Mexico to meet with his latest mark — ahem, girlfriend.
Since Ed’s mom is Mexican and speaks Spanish, Ed hopes that this will give him a foot in the door with Kaory.
Kaory is a single parent like Ed, and she is actually 38 — much younger than Ed, but not less than half his age. She’s older than his daughter!
With the possibility in mind that Ed might hook up with Kaory, he has booked a separate room for his mother at the same hotel.
Ed wore his lucky underwear and socks on his date with Kaory.
That superstition either paid off in a big way, or isn’t working right — depending upon your point of view, we suppose.
Right off the bat, it was rainy outside … a blow to Ed’s confidence after he had psyched himself up for the date.
“I’m smelling good, I’m looking good, I’m feeling good, and … it’s raining,” Ed complained.
“I’m like, what the f–k? My first date, traveled all this way to get here,” he described.
Ed continued: “I’m looking around going, what the hell am I doing? Like, was this worth it? Is this a sign?”
But Kaory was there at the restaurant, admitting to the cameras that she had been nervous about meeting him.
Her first impression of Ed was that his shirt, which was red, matched his “red like flame” skin.
She spoke about skin a lot, lamenting that hers looked worse (not to us), while Ed “complimented” her by telling her that she looks 22.
Big Ed did employ a new strategy when it came to dating, something that he didn’t try with Liz or Rose: treating her like a human being.
Specifically, instead of trying to impress her with money, Ed put some thought into a gift for Kaory, buying her crystals from a mystic shop.
Kaory clearly appreciated the gift, and the two spoke — with Ed practicing his Spanish with moderate success — until the date went to hell in a handbasket.
Then, everything changed very quickly, beginning with two people in the restaurant urgently telling everyone stop.
Then, gunshots rang out, clearly from not too far outside of the restaurant.
Ed, Kaory, producers, and regular folks from the restaurant alike rush to what looks like the back of the restaurant and huddle at the floor, trying to minimize the chances of being shot.
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